Midas Journal 22

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Entry: May 12

Over the last couple of days, I've been asking everyone I know who's “in the know” about magic to write down for me a list of all the kinds of magic people they're familiar with. Between so many people, I feel like the combined list should at least account for a decent number of things I might “discover” for myself in the future. If I change like six people and none of them are on the list, even as I update the list with what each of those people says they know about, that's going to look really suspicious that maybe my powers are secretly just making up new kinds of magic people. But if I start just checking off things on the list, then either I haven't been “inventing” new things at all, or the list or my memory of it is also retroactively being changed (which is scary, but I shouldn't worry about it because there's no way I could tell that was going on). It's a long list, so instead of trying to memorize the whole thing I'm just memorizing how long it is. If a new kind of person is added the list has to get longer, or something I wrote down has to be replaced, which would mean somehow removing a kind of magic person either from the world or from possibly two or three different people's memories. I also put it in alphabetical order so hopefully I'll be able to spot it if something gets replaced.

Notable things I haven't run into yet are several more kinds of people based on animals, demons, vampires, dragon-people apparently? So some of my guesses the other day were weirdly on-point. Also even though my conversation with Annabel suggested Rabbits like for people to not know about them, and maybe especially 'predator' types, Lue wrote down “rabbit” on her list. The conversation went like this:

I was reading through the list, and paused at the word “rabbit”. I wanted to ask about it but I needed to ask in a way that didn't suggest I had already met a Rabbit; she'd probably be able to get who exactly out of me and I don't want to risk any trouble. So I pretended to be confused about the use of the word (which, honestly, I was the first time I heard it anyway) and said, “Rabbit? Like, just the animal?”

“No, silly! Rabbit people. I dunno why they don't call themselves something else to be less confusing, but they don't. They're pretty secretive about even existing, though, especially around 'predator' types like ourselves, so you better not let that list fall into the wrong hands.”

Great, an opening to ask my real question. “Um...if they're so secretive, why do you know about it?”

Lue shrugged. “In my past life, two young members of the giant pack I was head of found out about a certain Rabbit family and thought it would be funny to hurt their son. I didn't even know about it until the kid's parents came to me privately and informed me about the incident. What they did to him left him paralyzed from the waist down, about. After I found out about it,” (she started getting a scary kind of toothy grin with sharpened teeth at this point) “I kept those two in the pack just long enough to ensure they wouldn't be capable of hurting someone like that ever again, and then kicked them out.”

“O-okay,” I said, feeling a little scared for my own life even though it obviously wasn't in danger. I think that touch of instinctive fear was why I didn't really connect the dots until later that she might have actually been talking about Annabel's past life, and if she was, well, that's a pretty weird coincidence. But how exactly does it work if Lue's old-man past self wasn't even there to do the part she says she remembers doing? I don't want to give myself a headache, but it might be worth seeing if “he” still actually existed somehow in this version of events.

This was yesterday. Lue changed the subject: “By the way, I hope you're aware this Friday's the full moon?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, nodding.

She grinned (much more pleasantly than the earlier one) and said, “Well, hurry up and get your boyfriend in the pack! It'd be a disgrace to go through a full moon as a mere two-member pack.”

“How do you know I haven't already..?” I started, and then just sighed when she continued to grin. “I'll talk to him about it tomorrow, ok?”

“Good!”

I also met Rio right after classes yesterday, to get a list from her. We hadn't actually run into each other before then, and she sort of looked me up and down. “Wow, is that really you?” she said.

“Err, I guess so?”
“You look really cute! And happy.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” I knew I was blushing again from the compliment but tried to ignore it. “Can we talk for a little bit?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “If you're heading home I can just join you.”

“Okay.”

It occurred to me somewhere in the middle of that that I wanted to talk with her about what had happened last Saturday and what I'd decided since then. I didn't mention Annabel, again, for the same reason I didn't say anything about that to Lue.

Of course she was happy that I've decided not to fret about the mind altering thing so much. She said, “Hmn, those seem like some pretty good rules,” she said. “You should add that you're allowed to use your powers for self-defense.”

“I guess that's sensible...” I said.

“Not just changing yourself, either. If someone's pointing a gun at you you're allowed to shift to a world where the gun won't fire or suddenly ceases existing. You're allowed to change them if you have to. I don't want you to get hurt because you thought you'd shift to some form that's immune to guns and whoever panicked and fired before you finished making the change...although I guess I'm not actually sure whether that's possible. It's better safe than sorry, is what I'm saying.”

It finally occurred to me: “Is this...are you thinking about your past life?”
She looked away a little and frowned slightly. “More like I'm thinking about what could've happened if, you know, if I'd fired before...”

“Well, you didn't,” I said. “Don't worry about it.”

“Heh,” she grinned. “I ever tell you you're way too nice? Just give me some peace of mind and add that to the rules, okay? If you already know you're allowed, you don't have to waste time thinking about it in a crisis situation.”
“Okay, okay.”

We reached my house at this point. “Well, you wanna just hang out for a bit?” I said. “I feel like every conversation we've ever had has been about me and my problems.”

“Sure,” she nodded. “Don't worry about it though, remember you're the one who gave me a second chance.”

“Well, I don't like the idea of our friendship being some kind of transactional thing where it's all just you owing me something,” I said, leading the way to the living room and offering a seat on the couch.

“Makes sense, too. On..a lighter topic, would you mind if I felt your tail a little bit?” She blushed slightly. “It looks really fluffy, and I've been curious ever since I saw it...”
“Sure, fine,” I said, bringing it around to her side of the couch. “Just don't pull on it or anything.”

“'Kay.” Rio started by just running one hand across it, but before I knew it she scooted a little closer to my end of the couch and just started hugging it and rubbing her face across it. “It's sooo soft! You're like a big fluffy pillow!”

I just giggled a bit, the free tip of the tail whipping back and forth in an effort to wag itself. It's strange, though, my tail doesn't seem any less sensitive but I didn't have any kind of...what I would call a “violent” reaction like I did with Lue, or even something quite the same as what I feel when Brian is petting me. It was nice, but there wasn't an extreme reaction emotionally or physically from the animal side or whatever.

I thought about this a little bit later on. Lue's under the impression that a werewolf's instincts tend to show how they really feel about someone. Did not having some kind of reaction to Rio mean we weren't friends somehow? I don't think so, so it must mean our friendship is different somehow from my relationship with either of the other people I've let touch my new fuzzy parts. Rio is cute and nice, and very smart, but I guess she feels more like a younger sister to me than anything else.

It raises the question of what my reactions to Lue say about what I think of her, though. My best guess is that I've thought of her as an “alpha” ever since we first met. It feels like she's always been able to get me to do things I normally wouldn't for anyone; I mean, the first thing she did after we met was more or less bully me into turning into a girl for her. It's not a bad thing, though; I mean, she's always seemed about equally interested in helping me out and messing with me, and even the messing with me has helped me figure some things out. On top of everything else if it weren't for her kind of pushing me around that way I wouldn't have met Brian. I guess it's a combination of some kind of submissiveness toward her strange kind of “alpha” personality and...gratitude? Something like that.

Today I went over to Brian's place. We hadn't seen each other since Saturday, so when I called and asked if I could come over it sounded like he couldn't say yes fast enough. He opened the door and smiled down at me. “Hey, pretty girl,” he said. “C'mon in.”

I could feel myself blushing and giggling a little bit from the compliment, and did as asked.
He lead the way over the couch so we could sit down; I pulled myself up against his side and he put his arm over me. “So, uh, how's..you know, being a girl treating you?”
“Pretty well,” I said. “I dunno if I want to stay this way forever, but it feels a lot more normal than it did when I tried to change myself. A lot of people want to touch my fur, though.”

“Well, it's pretty touchable,” he said, brushing one of my ears with a hand. I leaned over a little closer, smiling, and then let him pull me into a long, slow kiss. After that we just stayed close for a while, until he finally decided to break the silence.

“So, uh, the full moon's pretty soon..”
“You're the second person to tell me that,” I said, “but I already know.”

“Well, it's just, I'm not really sure—the whole shifted memory thing—and we met after the last one, so—” he stuttered awkwardly, but I understood what he meant.

“You're worried if I'm still a werewolf then our instincts will take over or something like that.”

“Uh—yeah.” His face reddened. “And since you—and I agreed we...”
“It's fine, we'll figure this out. If all else fails I could just make us both girls that night.”

“Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of that. But, so, you want to...?”
“I'm a little curious about it. Anyway, there's another reason I think I'll have to be a werewolf that night.”
“What's that?”

“Um..last Sunday Lue came over to my house, and uh, you know how you told me she's the alpha type and all that?”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Well, she's decided to actually start a pack, and wanted me to join.”

“Did you...fight?” he said, looking concerned even though I obviously wasn't injured.

“No. Lue wants to..” I blushed slightly. “She said she wanted to try out new pack members in a really different way. Err, by petting each other.”

“Petting,” he repeated, confused.

“She said some stuff about instincts being unable to lie about how people feel about each other, and like, she'd rather have a pack that trust each other than worry about having strong people because we don't really live in a world where physical strength is that important,” I said. It had sounded a lot more convincing the way she'd said it, but I couldn't exactly remember it just then.

“So, you agreed to join?” he said.
“Err, yeah. It was...it's always really hard to say no to her, and she is my friend, and the only..”
“No, no, that's fine, she's my friend too. I was expecting her to try and start a pack pretty soon, to be honest. So did she ask you to invite me to her pack or something? I mean I've talked to her like five times this week and she didn't say anything to me.”

“Um..she said she wanted me as beta, and because of how the, uh, tryout works she'd rather I ask you to join the pack and do the test myself.”

“Oh.” He stared off in the distance for a second and then back at me. “Well, I think we both know how that'll end up.”

“Y-yeah, but I'm a terrible liar, so..if you want in the pack we probably have to actually do it. Anyway, d-do you not..?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page,” he said. “Um..who should start?”
“I don't think it matters. I guess you can start. Uh..” My cheeks had been getting steadily hotter throughout this whole part of the conversation and by now I felt like they could boil water. “Y-you might have to uh, when Lue did it she sort of rubbed her tail against mine.”
“You just want me to do that, huh,” he said. He was blushing too but gave me a teasing smile, which I couldn't help but giggle at. It brought the tension down a bit, so when he carefully reached his hands up to my ears to start rubbing them I managed to calm myself down enough to not jump.

I pulled myself closer against him, and I could hear his tail brushing against the side of the couch as it grew out. His fur was sort of rough, but not nearly as much as Lue's, and when I felt his tail starting to curl itself around mine it came with a strong burst of pleasant, tingly feelings between my legs and a quiet “Mmf!” from my throat. Almost right away I was brushing my face across his, but even though I was a lot more consciously aware of it than I had been by the time it happened with Lue I didn't feel ashamed or want to stop doing it at all. I barked softly in my throat, occasionally allowing my lips to brush against his.

It was not very long before he just grabbed my head and pulled me into a close, intense kiss, the idea of petting my ears completely forgotten. I gave myself into the kiss eagerly, slowly leaning back as he pushed forward until he was laying on top of me on the couch, our tails still together hanging down off the front. We kept going for what felt like hours and really must have been at least a few minutes before he finally released me from the kiss and I pushed him off of me, causing him to roll over onto the floor.

I sat up, still panting rapidly and heavily with a lot of heat in my cheeks. We slowly calmed down, just looking at each other with giddy grins, and after a while I offered a hand to help him back up onto the couch. “Hhokay. So. Did you approve?” I said, grinning.

“Um, yeah,” he said. “S-so I guess it's your turn to do that to me, then, huh.”
“Mm-hm. W-we can take a break, you know, if you want to,” I said.

“N-no, just uh..I wonder if you'd let me be the girl this time?”

“You be the girl?” I repeated. “I mean...I don't have a problem with it, but I'm not sure if it counts if one of us isn't a werewolf...”
“You don't have to stop being a werewolf,” he said. “Here.” He brushed my cheek briefly and I felt myself gaining the power to be Kael again, but as a werewolf.

“Oh..why didn't I think of that?” I said.

“Too much excitement lately, I'd guess,” he said with another teasing grin. “Let's start?” He began to shrink and I realized he was beginning to change into Brie.

“Uh—yeah!” I activated the new power I'd just gained, and watched as my perspective pulled upward. Brian's hair puffed out and turned white, followed by his ears and tail visibly growing fluffier and changing colors, too. His face turned cute and his body curvy, his t-shirt hugging close and pants shrinking into tight shorts as he switched sexes again. In no time at all I was me—male me—again, but still sporting the wolf ears and tail, and in front of me was Brie, looking every bit as beautiful and cute as I remembered.

Before I could even say anything Brie pounced on top of me and knocked me over on my back, her tail curling again around mine as she kissed me. She let go, and I started running my tail up and down hers, feeling a soft tail against my own for the first time, and brought my hands up to rub her ears. “Mrf..yip!” she gave a high, puppy-like bark, in between panting from the excitement of the kiss she'd just had. “Arr..rrf!” Her tongue hung partway out of her mouth for a second before she pulled it back in and just went straight to kissing me again, this one every bit as intense as the first one. I finally noticed in the middle of it that she had chosen not to have a bra on, as her breasts squished and rubbed against my chest with just a couple of thin shirts in between. She continued to give occasional high-pitched barks in her throat, which I found myself responding to with some low woofs of my own, until we finally seemed to both agree to stop and she pulled her lips up off of mine.

Still panting, I managed to say, “H-how come you keep ending up on top of me?”

She gave a bright, toothy smile. “You're just not the dominating type, I guess. So did I pass?”

“Well, duh. Um..welcome to the pack and all that?”
“Heehee,” she giggled, “you're so not a normal beta. That's prolly a good thing though, I think I get what Lue was going for.” Brie pushed herself up off of me and stood up, before her legs instantly wobbled and refused to support her, leading to her quickly falling to a cross-legged position on the floor. “Whoo—okay, too soon.”

I sat up on the couch again. Her face was bright red and her tail was wagging furiously, and I could tell that I was in pretty much the same state. “Uh—um...do you want to, did you wanna keep being a girl a little longer?” she said. “I didn't really even ask...”

“Well, you seem to really like being the girl,” I said, “but um, yeah...I've been thinking about it and I kinda wanted to give it a solid week. If that's not too bad..?”
“No no, that's fine. I just wanted to check first,” she said, leaning forward and poking me on the leg. I started shrinking down right away. “We've had a lot of, err, 'excitement', so if we're gonna hang out for a while your idea of both being girls to not...you know, or anything, sounds pretty good.”

I nodded, and my rapidly-growing hair swished around my face in response. I felt my sexual attraction to Brie slipping away as I went back to being female, but as I continued to look down at her she still looked every bit as adorable and pretty as ever. Soon my chest started to stretch out across the material of my shirt again, and I squirmed in my seat, feeling the same physical excitement from it as before and giving the same involuntary barks. My blush didn't fade away as I realized my own bra had gone missing between switching back and forth, and Brie leaned over and crawled on all fours up to the couch before climbing up to a seat again.

“Um—is there some particular reason for uh..” I said, poking my chest.

Brie giggled again. “I dunno, I just sorta felt like it.” She put her arms around me again, another girl-hug with our boobs squishing against each other. Even though I'm shorter as a girl, I'm still like a foot taller than Brie like this, and I had to appreciate the effort she made to not just bury her face in my chest. “I can fix it if you wanna though..”
“N-no, it's fine,” I said, hugging her back. “Um, but...I thought you weren't very happy with us both being the same before...”
“Well, we've just had our fill of kisses, so it's not so bad. Besides, we were boys last time. It feels easier to get close like this as girls, right?” She brushed her fingers across my face just a little bit and I didn't draw away at all, proving her point.
“Yeah...”

Only after I left there tonight did she change back. I didn't actually see it, but a kind of switch went off in my mind as to which set of memories were 'real' again. I'm getting strangely used to the feeling of my memories shifting around like this, to the point where it feels...well, not normal, but it's getting increasingly easy to keep track of everything somehow. I guess I should be glad it's getting less confusing instead of more, with how many different shifts in memory I've personally had. Most of the people I've changed only have one or two to deal with, as far as I know, but I have one for every one of them and also every time I go back and forth.

The strange just gets more normal every day, but I have to admit at least it's exciting. I wonder if I'm really starting to like it...