Midas Journal 29

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Entry: May 28

For as long as I've been writing these, I've been under the impression that only I—and like, that one “alternate universe” me although I'm not entirely sure if she's he's rather, atm! still looking busy as you are lately, but yep!—can read them. So, today I found out that's not entirely true. Hi, other people! I guess you're used to reading all kinds of things people are keeping private, so I guess this isn't nearly as weird for you as it is for me. Oh well. You haven't exactly exposed any state secrets before now, so...

I guess I should try to explain how this started.

Adena was acting weird, every time I saw her this morning. Well, I say that, but it wasn't something anyone who didn't know her would notice. She's usually really excited and almost surprised still by her own power and status as a Kitsune; instead she seemed super self-assured and confident, like she was totally used to it. It wasn't anything really obvious, just these subtle cues here and there. Then, she sat in front of me at lunch and..didn't say anything too out of the ordinary then. But near the end she just seemed really interested in whether I had any plans this afternoon, and when I said she didn't, she leaned in and was like, “Okay. In that case, can you come to my place so we can talk in private?”
“Why?” I said. “What's going on?”
“Nothing bad, I promise,” she said with this weird kind of grin. “It'd be great for me if you'd come, though, really.”
“Well, uh, okay then?”

“Good.” The bell rang at this point, and I had the distinct feeling that she had timed the request very carefully just so she could get up and dash away the instant I agreed. This was a little terrifying, coming from her.

I considered not going. Or getting advice from Rio or something. But eventually I decided that she was my friend, so I should trust her, and anyway if anything really strange or bad was going on I would be able to handle it. I did send a text Brie's way, saying I would be with Adena that afternoon. I figured in the absolute worst case that I somehow disappeared, Lue was more than capable of destroying anyone who did anything bad.

She opened the door before I had a chance to get the doorbell and waved me in. I haven't actually been to her place before now. It's a nice place. Big, lots of rooms. I don't know for sure if it was like that “before” or her parents became richer due to one or both of them being Kitsune (she hasn't told me which, if either, is one, and they both look human...) She showed me to a seat on a couch in a little kind of library place. “You want something to drink?” she said.

“I'm...good. What's this about?”

“To the point, eh? Alright.” She moved around where she was standing in front of me, but a couple of yards off. “This may surprise you, so I'll ask you to please not react violently and reserve any questions for after I'm done, 'kay?”

“Uhh...sure?”

Adena nodded, and then...started smoking. I mean—not like, she pulled out a cigarette or a pipe or something. I mean like, it was like smoke was coming out of all her pores. It was very...directed smoke, going mostly along the walls and to either side of the couch and behind it (I looked back for a second when I saw it going that way). It covered the ceiling, and somehow made the room we were in seem much darker, even though I could still see her perfectly fine, just as if she was still being lit by the sun from the windows.

After that, she started...growing. She got taller, and, well, bigger in the chest and hips. She started growing extra tails, one after another, in a bunch of different colors. Her eyes were red and also glowing. This was not only surprising but kind of terrifying too, especially when she saw my reaction and just grinned like it was hilarious. Her clothes reshaped into a long kind of kimono thing, and after just a short few seconds I felt like I wasn't really looking at Adena at all, but someone else entirely. When it was over, she gave a small kind of, relieved-sounding sigh. “There we go,” she said, in a very deep, and not-Adena-like voice.

Since I've learned some magic, I've become aware of the magic power that other people have. I can sense a little bit from Rio, and Lue for that matter. A lot more than that from Giri and Ren, and even more from Threa. It's kind of a 'matter-of-fact' sense that doesn't bug me much, or intrude into my instincts or emotions the way normal senses do. In this case, though, it did. I could feel an intense, sharp kind of pressure coming off of this person, and it was terrifying. It was the best I could do not to try to find some way to escape, like using a teleportation spell to go back home or something. I assume that would've qualified as “reacting violently”, and I tried to assure myself that if she'd wanted to hurt me then none of this would be necessary at all.

“Before you worry, you should know that I cannot hurt you,” she said. “In fact my power is unable to touch you, from what I can tell.”

“Um...really?” It sure felt like it could touch me, and a lot more than that.
She nodded. “One of us tried, not long after your power appeared. It told him no while you were fast asleep, and ever since not even a simple messenger spell can reach you. Oh—I ought to introduce myself first,” she nodded, as if realizing she'd forgotten this step, and moved just close enough to extend her hand my way.

“I have no name—my position comes with costs, and losing that is among them. But my title is the Ruler of Foxes. I'm here as an emissary of the gods in general—well, most of them at least,” she said.

“Uh..Kaela.” I tried shaking her hand, but my arm was still trembling. “Guess you know that.”

“Politeness is still appreciated,” she said. “Now that we're acquainted, I'll sit down.” She turned and went to the opposite side of the couch, leaning half-against the armrest to face me.

“You should know that I am not physically with you,” she said. “I am borrowing the use of Adena's body according to an agreed-upon exchange between her and me. Essentially I can use her body today while she experiences something similar to sleep, and that only for the express purpose of maintaining the illusion of her being around—and, more importantly, to arrange this meeting with you. She'll remember the whole thing, unless there are parts of this conversation that you or I would prefer to remain private. My part of the bargain is a good way toward gaining her next tail. A formality, really—I cannot 'officially' just give someone a tail, but it isn't hard for someone in my position to arrange things where one with as few as she has can swiftly earn another one.”

I cleared my throat. “Um..no offense, but, out of all the gods, why would the one in charge of the uh, deception people be the emissary?”
She shrugged. “The others are afraid to make anything resembling physical contact with you, and I am the youngest—well, until recently at least—so risky jobs fall to me. Also, I wanted to meet you,” she added with a grin. “You're fun.

“If you're wondering whether you can trust me, well, you have all kinds of ways to test whether anything I tell you is true, don't you?” she said with this calm, friendly-looking grin. That expression was more terrifying than if she was baring her teeth at me. “So we both know that my lying won't help anything. Now, the first message, from certainly all of us, is please do not destroy us.”

“Destroy you?” I was surprised by the suggestion that I could.

“You know that your power can reshape the world,” she said. “We believe it would be trivial for you to make one where any one of us never existed. Or even to simply depower anyone you like into a mortal. I wish to convince you, first of all, that this would not be beneficial to do.”

“Right now, the world is stable. We do quite a bit to keep order—even those of us who like a little chaos prefer not to see major wars, or the deaths of large groups of people. Each one of us has important roles which the world would miss if we were gone; in my case the entire race of Kitsune would be rather lost, not if I personally were removed, but if my title disappeared entirely. But more importantly—our power keeps this world safe, and we aren't sure if yours can do the same.”

“You did just tell me I can rewrite reality,” I said.

She nodded. “The running theory at the moment is that, whatever you are, it is intrinsic to this universe, and perhaps linked to just one other. But we don't know—and don't want to find out, if possible—whether your power is able to do anything to things originating from other universes. You see, there are a great many other worlds out there separated by what we call 'Void'—something similar to but distinct from outer space.” (I got the impression right away that 'Void' should be capitalized.) “The Void is also populated with many serious existential threats to our or any other world. But the presence of powerful beings such as ourselves wards off most such threats from even approaching our world in the first place, and in addition that power is very effective at crushing threats which approach anyway.

“If you start trying to reorganize the pantheon, we don't know what kind of effects that will have. Any survivors may be angry enough with you to attempt retaliation toward those you care about, which would further prompt you to respond in kind, and...well. My point is that if you destroy one of us, you might as well do it to all of us. And then you must find a way to refill our roles, and quickly. We think it would be much better for everyone if none of that ever happens.”

“Uhh...I don't, really, want to hurt anyone,” I said. “Much less kill them, or..”
“I know,” she nodded. “But we do feel it's best for you to understand the situation fully. Naturally, none of us wants to go, or see our friends go. Oh, speaking of which, La Lune likes you too, and is very proud of Lue. You can tell her so if you want.”

“Okaaay.” I think she meant that she's friends with La Lune, which—speaking as a werewolf, is completely insane to me.

“We're also grateful that you haven't started raising yourself or your friends to godhood the instant it became available as an option,” she said. “And it's a blessing that your power really seems inclined to change as 'little' as possible unless directed otherwise. Really, I think you're better off that way for now; so much power thrust onto someone so young can be difficult to manage. Also, we aren't sure what would happen if you did that now, but it's not as if any of us could stop you, and we'd prefer to let you ascend yourself than try to fight it and, again, get destroyed.”

“I don't feel responsible enough to be a deity,” I said.

She grinned at me again like this was funny. “You're already far more responsible than most of us, but there's more to being a god than that. And you have 'more power' than we do, from a certain perspective, so it's really just a difference in how many people know that. At any rate, that is the first of my message out of the way. I promised to answer your questions, so do you have any so far?”

“Yyyeah, you said something about a god younger than you?” I said.

“Oh, yes. In a strange confluence of the universe which we think has little to nothing to do with you directly, a college student just a few years your elder recently ascended. I think you'd get along pretty well, but the others are adamant about not letting you meet her just yet. Not that we could really stop you if you wanted to,” she said with a shrug.

“Who are 'the others', exactly?” I said. “I mean, I know of some of the gods, but now that I know one is real I don't know which of the other ones I know of are real or not, or if there are others I've never even heard of.”

“Well,” she said. “You know La Lune; she and her brother Sol, god of the sun, are among the oldest and most powerful—therefore important. I am the 'god' of the Kitsune, for as much as the term applies. It's actually a title which any nine-tailed Kitsune can take on under the right conditions, but I have held it for a long while so far by currying favor with the 'real' gods and keeping my people reasonably happy. By the way, you and Brie are welcome to turn foxes any time you like; I guarantee you'd enjoy it! Aside from that, there is Bastet, who is more or less over the Neko race—they don't really 'worship' her per se, but there's an important relationship there—but also has a few other important roles, like presiding over dreams. The god of love—the best and the worst thereof—who has at least six different names, is another you can count as at least fond of you, if not an outright ally. And, there's the ascended dragon Ouroboros, who presides over greed, stability, cycles...but he's asleep this century, so you aren't likely to meet him anytime soon. That's about it, leaving aside various nature spirits and the like who could be loosely called 'gods' and receive some amount of power from 'worship'; but comparing us to them is like comparing..hmm, nuclear missiles to handguns. And, of course...the new one.

"Her name is Zotha, and she presides so far over 'change', 'gratitude', and 'unintended consequences'...more or less. I could send you a list of everyone's domains for you peruse later, if you'd like.”

“I think that'd be helpful,” I said.

“Oh, speaking of messages—I know you don't keep anything in it anymore, but you really ought to check your locker more often,” she said, a piece of paper just sort of appearing in her hand. She offered it over toward me. “This was in there last week.”

She waited patiently for me to skim over it. It seems like I managed to change someone without even noticing because my tail kind of lightly brushed him? Okay then. “Thanks, I think?”
“Heheh,” she chuckled. “Not even your own caution can get in the way of you keeping things interesting, it seems.”
“I dunno if that's the word I'd use for it...”

“On the next part of my message. We have been reading your journal,” she said.

“..Oh.” I guessed that explained why they knew what had been happening. Of course gods have some kind of crazy scrying powers, and it's not like I really did anything to protect this against magic anyway. I'm writing this all from memory in the middle of the night, by the way, so I guess if you send me a message to correct me on what exactly you said, that's fine, and maybe I will?

“Your motivations for meddling with the veil are honorable, it is generally thought, but we'd like to ask you not to rewrite history for it. We are as uncertain as you are of what would happen if you ask your power to go back in time and make that sweeping of a change. Rather, if it is your demand to lift the veil, we'd like the opportunity to arrange that in as orderly and non-destructive a manner as possible.”

“My..demand?” I repeated.

“That is what you want, is it not? No good fox or deity asks so much of someone as powerful as you are without expecting to do something in return. But.”

She leaned toward me a bit and put on a serious face that honestly looked kind of out of place for her. “As the one of our group who disliked the Veil the most when it was started, and still sees its many flaws, I must tell you. There is no removing it without some chaos and damage. And even if it were removed at once and immortality available to all, there are many who would not willingly take it. You yourself had a somewhat gradual introduction to the world of magic; imagine if it had suddenly all been dumped on you at once. Then imagine people who are less well-adjusted, less nice, less mentally stable, millions of them at minimum, all having that happen to them at the same time.” I tried to imagine that and felt my ears folding way back over my head. It did not seem good. “That is why this requires careful, detailed planning, more than you alone can probably manage. Please let us work on this in our own way, alright? Zotha is in on this as well,” she said with a small nod.

“Are you, planning this because I've forced your hand?” I said after a second. “I mean—you know I don't, want to threaten anyone into anything.”

“You're far too nice. But really, this is an excuse to do something some of us have wanted for a decade or two,” she said, “if not longer. You, along with Zotha, give motivation to those who had become complacent about the veil remaining the default state of the world forever to talk seriously with the rest of us about how best to go about lifting it, should it become entirely necessary. It isn't too many steps from there to all of us agreeing to enact those plans. But first, they must be made, and certain 'pieces' have to be put in the right place.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. Even though she was doing everything she could to assure me she wasn't really a threat, it was intimidating to say this to a god. Or, to whatever she is that's basically equivalent to one. “What about the people who die while you're doing all that planning?”

“Hmmh. Some of them will have been killed,” she said. “Even a world with magic is no paradise. We cannot maintain that people have free will and at the same time prevent all violent death forever. If anything, magic grants a great many ways to kill people that ordinary humans do not have. But I know that isn't who you mean.

“We can't directly prevent magicless people from dying, or at least appearing to die, without the veil itself dying a very premature death. But we can offer a 'reincarnation service' of sorts: Communicate with the mind of someone about to die a natural death, and let them decide for themselves whether to continue that way or be 'reborn' into the world elsewhere as someone new. In fact, Zotha is lending her power to just such an endeavor, using some manpower from a few of us older gods to help accomplish it. The only disadvantage is that, for now, those people's families must believe they really died, so the new identity is...a bit like being in witness protection, but with no chance of being recognized. But they are still alive.”

“That's...really good,” I said. I had a huge grin on, and my tail was wagging in spite of myself. “Even just that would be enough, if you never do drop the veil.”

“I disagree about it being enough, but I'm sure the others will be relieved that you're pleased with the temporary compromise,” she said.

“Now, there are two more things I wish to accomplish with this visit. First of all, a stable method of communication between you and the gods, which you will know is from us and we will know is from you. We had this made for that purpose.” The same way as the paper before, she pulled out what looked like a phone and offered it toward me. “It can do texting and voice, but it's specially enchanted to only communicate between us, to only allow you to use it, and to distinctly identify who is sending messages with it.”

I took it carefully, and the screen lit up right away. It only had a “call” and “message” function visible, but otherwise the screen didn't look very different from my actual phone.

“Surprised to see something that looks so modern?” she asked. “It was largely designed by some of Sol's people. Convenient, and helps it appear unimportant to anyone around you. Rest assured we only intend to use this for serious communication, and hope that you reserve it for that as well.”
“Y-yeah, okay,” I nodded. It's still a little hard to comprehend that I basically have a phone with a direct line to the gods, with what I understand of their level of power and importance. Obviously I haven't touched it since taking it home.

“So, what was the second thing?” I asked after taking a minute to put it away.

“It's more of a personal matter. A small request from me,” she said, “and from La Lune. A certain fox in your neighborhood has been praying to her because he doesn't want to be what he is, and sincerely wishes he'd been born a werewolf instead. I'd happily grant his desire and wish him the best, but it isn't in either of our power to actually do so; ordinarily a person's nature in that regard is very much fixed, and the extremely expensive magic that upends one's nature is too against any god's nature for us to cast or even lend power to the casting of, besides being indescribably risky to the person affected. You obviously have the ability to bypass such issues, after—I assume—explaining the usual caveat.”

“I guess I can do that,” I said. “How would I know this person? Or, what do they look like?”
“If you're agreed, La Lune will send him a dream tonight from which he'll know to seek you out. Perhaps we could've done this without asking, but she thought it best to at least mention it when we're already having a conversation.”

“Well, I probably would've helped anyway, yeah. So that's no problem.”

Something else occurred to me. “Why all this now?” I said. “I mean—I've had this power for almost two months at this point.”

She kind of shrugged. “A combination of politics and strategic thinking, more or less. Enough of the gods who are terrified of you have at this point been convinced that it's worth trying diplomacy, and anyway—if we understand things correctly—you are at this point in your own experience becoming accustomed to the world beyond the veil. You've met a demon and a dragon, and are building up your own repertoire of spells. You knew of a few of us already, and it would only be a matter of time before other mortals would help you assemble a list of the gods anyway, so the strategy of hoping you won't do anything to us if you don't know about us has outworn its use. So those who are worried, well aware that aggression hasn't worked and can't work and hiding is about to fail, can only agree to turn to diplomacy. I would also be lying if I said the tenor of some of your more recent entries didn't have Sol scrambling to get a word out to you before you made any major decision without our input,” she added with a grin that I think was at this sun god's expense.

Having finally delivered her various messages, the fox god woman moved on to asking if I had any questions. I struggled to come up with much, but—or, really because of that—I asked: "Is it. Can I, uh. Who's...allowed to know about our conversation here? Who can I, talk to about it?"
She sort of shrugged. "Whoever you like. Maybe the other gods don't think so, but I believe you have a reasonable amount of discretion when it comes to keeping your power a partial or entire secret. And I'm certain it would help you sort things out to speak with your significant other, at the least, if that's what you have in mind."
"Uh...yeah," I admitted.
"And you have the means to contact me—or the rest of us—if you think of any other questions to ask, or comments to make."

"That's true..."
"If there's nothing else for the moment, then, I'd be happy to relinquish Adena's body back to her control for the time being."

"I—yeah, maybe that'd be best," I said.

After a special-effects-show like the one that had introduced her, but kind of in reverse, the Ruler of Foxes turned back into Adena. She waved goodbye to me with a sort of soft chuckle, then suddenly went sort of partially limp for a moment, staring off into space. She snapped out of this like someone just waking up, shaking her head hard enough for her ears to flap around before shouting "DUDE!" and starting to gush about how awesome it was to have been 'possessed' by the Ruler for even just part of one day. I gave her a few minutes to basically nerd out about it before getting up and saying I really needed to go talk to Brie, and I think she understood how overwhelmed I was feeling, so she let me go.

Brie was...at least as excited to hear I'd been contacted by a god as she had been about me meeting a dragon. "That's amazing! They're real!?" I guess I should've seen that coming. It's funny, even people who've been 'outside the veil' their entire lives seem to encounter the gods so rarely that many of them don't know they exist as people rather than abstract concepts. Maybe they prefer it that way?
"Uh, apparently."
"Well, in that case I guess it was only a matter of time, with what you can do. I mean—I know I'd want to get a handle on a 'reality warper' if I was responsible for a whole entire world."

We talked for a while about it. Brie didn't have much in the way of new input, but it felt good just to talk about it to someone else..no, especially with her. It made the whole experience feel more real, and she had some of the same reactions I did to some of that info, which made me feel a little less crazy. After that, she uh..helped me take my mind off of things for a while, and offered to hang out with me tomorrow afternoon, and said she hopes we meet 'the mystery fox' together. I guess...she may want to watch my power work on him? And I guess I can't blame her. Anyway, if he's so dead set on being a werewolf, there's a pretty high chance we'll wind up with yet another new pack member, huh?

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Wow, it's been a while on this story, huh? This part has been sitting around fully-written for...a long while. The next part has also been sitting around mostly-written for a while. At first this whole thing was stalled by not wanting to spoil some planned events in Summoning, but I got past those events and...still had trouble finishing things up for publication. But today I finally finished that one, which makes me feel ready to publish both. The next one will come out tomorrow.