Midas Journal 8

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This makes two updates in one day, so make sure to check the previous post before looking at this one!

Entry: Mar 30

Oh man. This is weird. This is really weird. I'm getting way ahead of myself, but this is just...weird. I'll just, start from the beginning. Like usual.

I managed to catch Rio in the hallway after lunch. "Hey, are you busy after school?" I asked.

"No, why?"
"I need to talk to you about something."
"You mean, at the coffee shop? I've been looking all over the place, but I haven't found anything yet."
"That's fine, I just need to ask you some stuff."
"Alright. See you there."

The rest of the day was normal. I went to some more classes, and then I left. I went back to the Magic Java, and I must have rushed because Rio wasn't there yet. I went to an empty table and took a seat, and waited. One time a waiter stopped to see if I wanted anything, but I just got a cup of water and said I was waiting for someone. She showed up a couple of minutes later.

"What's up?" She looked concerned. I'm sure I looked like I needed concern just then.

"I need to know if there's any way I can stop myself from changing people. I mean, I've been trying to avoid contact with anyone, but it's really hard. Accidents happen. I mean, yesterday..you know Tina?"
"Yeah. I've got a class with her."
"Well, until yesterday she was Tim. I can't just keep doing this. I know it's stupid, but I thought you might know something about how to..you know, how to control it."

She stopped to think for a few seconds, and then answered. "Well, okay. Like I told you, I'm an apprentice witch. Wizards and witches start out with a tiny bit of magic and learn to control and expand it. But some people, like you, have innate powers that express themselves spontaneously. You don't need to gain more power to keep using it, because in a way you kind of already are powerful."

"I can't think of a use for my 'power' that isn't just perverted."

"Maybe, but what you've done with it--accidentally or not--so far has been good. And you can't deny that completely changing a person's biology and everyone else's memories about them is pretty powerful."

"...Yeah, I guess so."

"But I'm not done. People who just have uncontrollable powers like you do can usually learn to control them. It's a little different, but has some of the same steps as learning to use magic from my end."

"Okay. So what does that involve?"
"A lot of practice. It's like stretching a muscle and exercising it to get stronger. The main difference is, for me that muscle is the magic itself...for you, it would be control over it."

I took a deep breath. "That sounds great and all...but how would I even start? I mean, I've tried to stop myself from changing people, as soon as I see it's happening, and it doesn't work."

"Well...in your case it might be harder to stop your power from working when it usually does, than to make it start working in ways that it doesn't want to."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Well.." She paused, whether for dramatic effect or to figure out how to say what she was going to say I don't know. "What if you tried changing the gender of someone who you usually don't when you touch them?"

"But I can't just find some random person and ask them if it's okay for me to--"
"You shouldn't have to."

"Uh..What?"
"There's already someone you know who you can definitely touch without changing."
"Well, who is that?"

I had the feeling I wouldn't like her answer, and I didn't. Rather than talking, she just pointed at me. "Wh-what?!"

"I'm serious," she said. Her tone was intense and serious. "All you should need to do is focus on making your power work on yourself. Concentrate on changing your own body. And it should work."
"And you're saying that if I do that enough, I might start being able to not change other people?"
"Yeah. Besides, it might be good for you to know what it's like. I mean..you act like it's the worst thing in the world. It's really not."
"I don't know if it's good or bad, I just can't imagine it!"

"Well, then all the more reason to try it, right?"
"I'm not so sure I want to know."

"Then I guess you could just keep going like you are now."

"I like that even less."

She shrugged. "Then there you go. It's tough, and I have no idea what I'd do in your position, but..I can't really do anything about it. But I'm trying to help you, okay?"

"...Yeah." I sighed. Then I looked up, and looked her in the eyes. "Thank you. I really don't understand all of this still, but I'm grateful you're trying to help." With that, I stood up.
"You're welcome. And I'll let you know if I manage to find anything." She stayed in her chair. I nodded to her, and left the shop.

Well, here I am now. Wait, no, that's still getting ahead of myself. I had supper, did the stuff I usually do before going to bed, and waited until around the time I would usually write one of these. I stood in front of my dresser, which has a mirror on the top of it. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, as I usually do during the day. I took a few deep breaths and got started.

I poked my left arm with my right index, just concentrating on one thought: 'become a girl'. I wasn't really sure I wanted to go through with it, but I didn't like the idea of never controlling this even more. For a couple of seconds, nothing happened. Then the hair on my arm, starting from where the finger was, pulled in, becoming short as if I'd shaved it or something. My arm looked a little thinner, too. I gasped and let go, and it turned back to normal at once, and looked just like I hadn't done anything at all.

So, I thought, I need to keep concentrating. I took another deep breath. Then I held up my finger and poked my nose. Be a girl, I thought, and focused. It was only a second or two before I noticed my face was starting to feel a little funny, and looked like it was getting a bit smaller.

This time I stayed calm. Keep it up, I thought to myself. My other arm was resting against the side of my stomach, and now I could feel it tightening a little bit, my hand pushing in farther than it had before. Still concentrating on that one thought, I slowly let go of my nose and let my arms relax to either side. After all, everyone I've changed only needed to be touched the once, and it's easier to concentrate when you're not constantly putting pressure on your own nose.

Now my hair was getting longer. My face looked, well, girly, and as more and more hair framed it I would have believed it was a girl if I'd just seen the head. I felt a little pull in my neck, and realized that was probably my adam's apple. I moved my chin up just a little bit, and I could see my neck had gotten smaller. Then my shirt developed a zipper and long sleeves, so I carefully unzipped it, still concentrating.

I pulled the jacket aside and found a piece of black cloth wrapped around my chest area that hadn't been there before. I also could see what my stomach had gone through, was still going through. It was flat, and it was a little thin, still getting thinner. Also, my whole upper body, from neck to lower waist, looked smooth and hairless. Out of some curiosity or something like that, I ran a hand from top to bottom on my stomach to feel it, and it felt just as smooth and flat as it looked.

When I moved my hand around, I found that the jacket sleeve wasn't pushing against anything but skin, and with it in front of my stomach I could see that the sleeve of the jacket was much thinner than my arm had been before. My fingers looked a little longer and thinner too, and I noticed the nails were longer, better kept, as if I'd manicured them or something. I reached that same hand up to the top of my head and ran it down my hair, which was now all the way down to my waist. It felt smooth and straight. It looked good too, I guess.

By this time I was forgetting to concentrate on becoming a girl, I was too busy paying attention to the fact that I was becoming one. But it didn't seem to matter. I guess I was either past a point where the change would go back if I stopped thinking about it, or thinking about myself becoming a girl counted as concentrating too? Anyway, now I could feel my hips..loosening. Like how my stomach had felt tight before, it was as if I had been wearing a tight belt and now someone was loosening it for me. The mirror didn't go far enough down to show me what was happening in the reflection, but I could look down and see that my hips were getting wider, and I could place my hand gently against their side to feel it pushing outward.

Still looking down, I saw my jeans crawling down off of my hips, and I could feel a little bit of a draft on the top of my legs. My boxers were..short. And getting shorter. I moved my hand down a bit and found my leg as smooth and hairless as my stomach was. The jeans were turning to a tight, thin cloth, and both they and the boxers had turned black when I wasn't paying attention. It felt like the cloth itself was pushing my legs in, making them tighter and thinner. I put one of my legs out and I could see just how..girly it looked.

I took another deep breath. The boxers..well, the underwear was getting tighter, between my legs, so I knew what was coming next. I looked down to see pink dots appearing on the cloth on my chest and the underwear, but that wasn't what I was focused on. I could feel...well, I'm sure you know. The underwear was tight on it, got looser and then tighter again, until finally it couldn't get any tighter. I bent over for a second or two to look at the gap between my upper legs, and I could see without a doubt what I already knew from feeling it: I was a girl now.

And when I stood up, I was blushing. Something about the realization that I wasn't a guy anymore just made me feel...exposed? I don't know. But now the cloth on my chest had turned into two straps over my shoulder, two more straps around the back that met the first two, and pieces of cloth in front of my chest. "Oh man...boobs," I said. I'm not sure why I said it, probably to hear my own voice. It's kind of a low tone, but just high enough that nobody would even think I was a guy if they heard me. Then my chest started 'loosening', growing,and the pieces of cloth held by the straps were filling up. It didn't take long, they aren't huge. They're smaller than Carla's, I think, but any size felt weird after being a flat-chested male for 18 years. Once they finished growing I understood perfectly the purpose of a bra, like the one I was wearing now.

For a few seconds or so I just stared at my own, still-blushing face in the mirror. Then, I looked myself up and down, as much as I could. I bent around and turned around to get a good look at my back. I took off the jacket. I poked and prodded a few spots. The blush was fading, I didn't really feel much of anything. I mean, it shouldn't be surprising. I'm not attracted to myself when I'm a guy, I am a girl right now, so I'm not attracted to girls. Right? But it felt weird.

It still feels weird. When I finally got through looking at myself, getting used to the feel of this body, I sat down to write this. I'm going to look back at it when I'm through and see if I talk, if I think different when I'm..female. But I'll just say this, I don't feel especially happy or sad about what my body is right now. It just feels weird. It feels almost like this couldn't be my body, like I'm having some kind of out-of-body experience, but the panties and the weight on my chest make it kind of hard to fully accept that kind of thought.

But, okay, I've practiced. I can make my power work on me when it usually wouldn't, I guess. I want to change back. But first...I just want to check a couple of things.

...I'm back. Well, my memories are the same as always. Maybe it's what happens when my power 'doesn't' want to work, it doesn't add any new memories. But my chest of drawers, my closet, even an old name tag from a few years back are all different. I'm Kayla, apparently. I don't know for sure, but I suspect everyone else will remember me as Kayla. Maybe I'm wrong, and it's only my room that got changed with me and my clothes. I'm not willing to risk what I would have to risk to find out. I'm just going to change back now. I don't know how hard or easy it will be.

...Well, that was fast. I stood up, thought about becoming a guy, and all at once it happened. When I turned into a girl it was so slow, like I was pushing against a spring, so I guess that spring snapped right back as soon as I wanted to turn back into a guy. I'm relieved, honestly. I don't want to have to explain what happened tonight to anyone. Maybe I'll try it again tomorrow night, see if it's any easier the second time? Tonight, I feel..well, I feel tired. Maybe pushing my power into doing what it doesn't want to is supposed to be tiring, I don't know. Rio didn't mention it, but I didn't ask.

Anyway, I'll write in here next time something happens. Maybe I'll talk about my progress with this...weirdness. I don't know.