Intelligence

This is certainly one of the longer captions, but it's not the longest. The image is so tall because the source image was so thin, and I felt I had to keep the caption at most thrice its width. Apparently that caused blogspot to reduce its size considerably when I uploaded it. If you are having trouble reading it as-is, here is a text+image form:

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Remus knew his friend Kell was the kind of guy who would take any advantage he could. College applications were very competitive to the kind of schools he wanted to go to. Remus stuck to the more traditional method of improving his standardized test scores--studying. Kell studied too, but he looked for anything else that could give him an edge.

One day Remus was hanging out with Kell at his house when a package came for him. He didn't pay much attention until Kell pulled out a pair of red-rimmed oval-shaped glasses out of it. "..Glasses? You don't need glasses."
"No, but these are special. They were being sold on E-bay for cheap," said Kell. "Supposedly they make whoever wears them smarter."
"Another lucky charm, then."
"Yeah. Why not try, right?"
"Well, for one thing, those look like prescription glasses, so they'll probably just mess up your vision and give you a headache. And for another..why do they have that strap thing on the back instead of ear hooks, like normal?"
"Huh?" Kell took a closer look at the glasses. "That part wasn't in the picture. No big deal though, I can still put 'em on." Kell put the glasses on, and waited.

"Well..I don't feel any smarter."
"It's probably just someone's prescription glasses they didn't need anymore or something, and they knew they could get a quick buck out of 'em."

"Yeah...they don't seem to be doing anything but making it hard to see," he said. "You might be right. But I still don't get the strap thing. Why would--whoa."
"What?"
"I just had a small cranial affliction," he said, rubbing his head.
"..What again?"
Kell blinked a couple of times. "Uh..I had a brief headache. It felt as if something exterior was entering and accommodations had to be made."
"Oh. Why are you talking weird?"
"I..do not know. When I attempt to communicate I find myself spewing excessively polysyllabic terminology. Wait, that's not what I--"
"Oh! You're talking smart. That means it worked, doesn't it?"
Kell thought for a moment, not quite noticing the hair showing up on the sides and top of his peripheral vision. "Well..I am not certain. I mean, vocabulary is not exactly a yardstick for intellect."
"Yeah, but just knowing all those words is sure to..uh..wait, what's up with your hair?"

"What do you mean?"
"It's turning green!"
"Huh?" Kell pulled a strand of his hair over to his eye from one side, and he could clearly see that it was getting a greenish tint to it, and getting brighter. "Wait..it is lengthening, as well!"
"Maybe you should take it off."
"Yes, of course." Kell quickly lifted the glasses off his head, strap and all, and handed it to Remus; the whole time his hair's color continued to brighten, and it slowly grew until it was framing his face, just short of his shoulders.

"Wha.." Kell looked around for a second. Everything far off looked blurrier than usual. "It..made me nearsighted? I wouldn't want to wear it again, however..I suppose I could afford a prescription--" He stopped short, and did a double-take. Remus looked a little taller than usual.
"What is it?"
"I--I am diminishing!" As he spoke, Kell's body rapidly lost height, the whole room rising up around him. "But..my apparel..?" His shirt, hoodie, and pants both seemed to be getting tighter on him, especially the pants. He put a hand up against his stomach, and observed, "My girth is decreasing, as well.." He looked up as the shrinking came to an abrupt halt to find that he was now a full head shorter than Remus. "I..I do not think removing the spectacles halts their effect," he said.
"But..what are they doing?" asked Remus, looking at the glasses.
"I--cchkkt!" Kell sudden feeling of choking brought Kell's hands to his neck, and they found what seemed to be a collar. Yet, it didn't feel all that tight--he could breathe just fine again after the first second.
"What happened?"
"Some kind of...mm!?" Kell's eyes widened in surprise at his voice--it sounded much higher than before. He cleared his throat, and even that sounded strangely high. "My vocalization was altered! I sound..I sound like..oh."

"Oh, what?"
"I think I understand the purpose and end of the effect.." said Kell, while his jeans suddenly turned all to cloth, splitting at the thighs. Below, it turned white and squeezed tightly against his legs, seeming to push them in as it did. His upper legs seemed to grow as a direct result, and to push back and apart at the top, widening his hips; the upper part of the pants turned black and began to shrink still tighter, especially between his legs. "They make one at least appear more intelligent by altering one's vocabulary, but..they also alter one's physiology, to an..an extensively effeminate end."
"Um..so you're..they..?" The bulge between Kell's legs rapidly shrank into nothingness, allowing the shorts to fit snugly, as well as some underwear that he hadn't even noticed changing underneath.
"Yes! They alter one's sex," said Kell, with some resignation in her voice. Then she suddenly could feel her ears, seemingly stretching out on their own. "Oh..is that not all?" she said, tugging at one of her ears. It was growing, and felt fuzzy to the touch.
"I guess not," said Remus, staring at the ears. "It looks like..cat ears!"
Kell could feel something pushing its way from her back, through the bottom of the hoodie and shirt, just above the shorts. "And..a matching tail, I presume."

She managed to maneuver the tail, as it came close to its full length, so she could get a hand on it and look at it. It was bright green like her hair now was. This is a..dubious bonus--I was only expecting.." Her eyes widened again at an odd, pushing feeling from her chest.
"What?" said Remus.
She unzipped her hoodie, and got a look at two small bumps up against the inside of her shirt. "M-mammaries," she said, blushing, as another push expanded the bumps. "R-rather sizable ones, at that," she added, feeling another, bigger push, and watching them grow still larger.
"Um..when did your eyes turn green?" said Remus, trying not to stare at her growing breasts.
"I..d-do not know," she said. There was one last push, completing the rapid filling out of her figure, and she had a brief, strange sense that it was 'done'.

She looked up, into Remus's eyes. They were both silent for a few very long seconds. A small smile crossed her lips, along with another blush. "I..think it is over. And..it must have completely altered my gender as well."
"W-what's the difference?" said Remus. He was starting to blush, too.
"If I were sexually female but male in gender..I, do not think I would feel much attraction toward you."

A moment of awkward silence passed. "Well..I suspect the spectacles have done all they will to me, and I am still nearsighted. So. I could probably use them."
"S-sure." Remus handed Kell the glasses, and she put them on her nose, pulling the strap over her feline ears (which she had enough control over to fold them flat against her head).
"I suppose we at least know the purpose of the strap. But..why create glasses that transform their wearer into a female feline hybrid, and alter her speech into excessive verbosity? Are the feline parts meant to create some sort of stigma?"

"I dunno. I think they're cute."
"And my irregular communication?"
"It's kind of cute too..even if I don't understand all of what you're saying."
"Hm. Is there anything in which the glasses curse me with some disadvantage?"

"Well, you're not a guy anymore, so I guess you aren't as strong.."
"I was not particularly athletic to begin with, though."
"Well, I don't know then. You look great, I mean, I bet you could be some kind of model if you wanted.."

"Perhaps I could try a sensual pose to test that hypothesis?" She adjusted the glasses with her right hand, putting her left hand against her hip (which felt oddly natural), and licked her lips. 

"Okay, wow. Y-you are officially the hottest girl I have ever seen," said Remus, blushing.
She laughed. "That was..m-merely meant as a jest. I would rather not display clothing for a living, I think. Would you care to join me for daily sustenance?"
"You mean..lunch?"
"..Yes."
"Sure."

This was something I needed to finish before the story idea mentioned off to the right, in case you were wondering.