The "Best" RPG Ever-111

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A stream of fire poured out from the gem on Nora's bracelet, weaving itself carefully between the trees and burning through each web along the way until it reached the clearing with the spiders in it. There, it was more like an explosion, bursting out to hit all of them at once while still restraining itself from reaching any plant life—or the apparently still-living avian man whose entire lower body was now wrapped in a tight bundle of webbing.

This, of course, got the attention of all of the spiders present, apart from one which was already burned too badly to move. Seeing all of them, especially the biggest one, suddenly turn toward her, Nora made a soft, high squeaking noise and just completely froze. This didn't prove too disastrous, however, since she had just cleared a path for everyone else to use.

Mira, having recombined her weapon into a single large scythe, jogged carefully forward while chanting to prepare a spell. Aria unsheathed her sword and charged straight ahead, quickly passing the witch. Lupa moved carefully around to the terrified weaver's front, taking out the enchanted axe Tsaron had given her and readying it to throw at anything that got too close. The shifter jumped and chopped a spider's head in half, then raised her sword to catch another's bite, reforming the weapon into a flail with a large spiked ball at the end so that those spikes shot out through its mouth into its head. At this point Mira caught up, throwing a volley of green, demonic ice spikes into the side of the biggest spider to divert its attention away from Aria.

Two of the other giant spiders ran Nora's way; Lupa's axe buried itself into the neck of one, taking it down, and then she ducked aside so that it flew through the other's legs on its way back, cutting or bashing the four on its left side enough to topple it over momentarily. She let the enchanted axe skid along the ground after that and drew a big two-handed one for better reach, bringing it down through that spider's head before it could stand back up.

The larger spider turned on Mira, making a sort of loud hissing sound as it swiped at her with a foreleg. She backed away from one swipe, then hooked the leg in her scythe on the second one, cutting halfway into it with the blade. She brought out some inky shadow tendrils from her back to grab on below the cut and yank it the rest of the way apart with a loud snapping noise, yielding enough pain for the monster to take several rapid steps backward. This gave the witch the opportunity to see a few more spiders coming into the clearing.

Aria ran up to the big one, turning her weapon into a bunch of chains coming from the hilt, each ending in a small, bladed hook, "YOU ARE HUGE!" she yelled, whipping the hooks up onto its side to lodge as many into its flesh as possible and then quickly taking several steps back, until most of the chains were taut. "THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUUUGE GUTS!" With the last word she pulled back, and enough of the hooks held to pull it down onto its side, violently flailing its remaining legs the entire way.

Another couple of spiders came up on either side of Nora, who had just managed to get her arms down to her side and start to shake slightly less. Noticing them didn't exactly help reduce her level of panic, but Lupa was still on guard duty, brandishing the two-handed axe and growling at the nearest one to make it hesitate, then throwing that weapon at the other, landing a hit to its abdomen that made it collapse. By the time her first target recovered enough to try to attack, she had drawn two more hand-axes and caught both its legs with them, which she followed up by backflip-kicking up into its head so hard that its neck audibly snapped.

Supposing that Aria had the 'boss' well in hand for the moment, Mira turned her attention to the other spiders, summoning exploding pumpkins and batting one at each with her broom to set each one alight. Once the giant spiders were all on demonic fire and running around in a panic, she moved in to pick each one off with her scythe and pull the fire back to herself before its heat could start burning the forest down.

The shifter pulled her weapon out of the monster and made a spear on a long chain, tossing it over the flailing legs to bury its spike deep into its abdomen while holding onto the back few links. It hissed and flailed even more violently, trying unsuccessfully to roll back onto its feet, as she invited the demonic weapon to feed on its blood (or whatever the giant spider equivalent was) and it greedily sucked it in. Before long the giant spider's movement slowed to a halt and it went completely limp, well and truly dead.

Mira looked around carefully, trying to listen for any more noise, but the woods seemed to have gone silent. She looked to Aria, who was busy pulling the spear back out to go start drinking the smaller spiders' blood (or whatever) before it went cold, and then to Lupa and Nora—especially the former, who still seemed tensed to fight. "Sense any more?"
"No," she shook her head. "Just cautious."
"Good. I think we might be rid of them, then. Uh, Nora?"
She took a long, shaky breath. The wolf-girl also gave her a concerned look. "Tall one, okay now? Big bugs all dead."
She nodded slowly, with some effort. "B-b-be better. Once, we're far away, from them."

"Fair enough, but I dunno how to do triage for this guy." The witch gestured to the half-bound avian, coming over herself to carefully cut the webbing off from around his legs with her scythe.

The weaver nodded, taking two slow steps forward and then moving to a semi-panicked run that carefully skirted around the spider corpses on her way over. Lupa followed, collecting her tossed weapons along the way. She closed her eyes and knelt next to the man's unconscious body, putting a hand on one of his wings and taking a couple of deep breaths again. "He's..n-n-not badly injured. Something in his..earth, plants...? Ah. I-I think some kind of poison...in him."
"Just keeping him asleep, though?" Mira asked.

"M-more like..um...p-paralyzed. But, also..? Something else to it, working against it to...make him process that more slowly...so he doesn't die from it."

"I guess it keeps their prey fresh until they wanna eat it," the witch guessed. "I don't suppose you can extract the poison from his blood or something. Or..I guess he might be stable enough to carry to town as-is?"

"Mmh..th-the first one, I think. S-shouldn't be too difficult..since, I've already identified which parts aren't 'him'. We'll need to..make a cut that, um, won't.."
Mira nodded, producing a knife she'd kept as a backup weapon. "This..isn't very clean," she said, offering it to Nora. Eyes still closed, the weaver took the hilt and swapped around her bracelets so that the fire one was on her opposite hand, drawing out a tight spiral of fire around the blade briefly, heating it until it turned slightly red; then she swapped out for a blue crystal, drawing some water out and using it to cool and rinse the blade off.

"No life on it now, shouldn't cause any infections..." Nora lifted the avian's arm. "Hold it here." Mira nodded, and she selected a particular vein and cut carefully into it, using the free hand to suppress the outward flow of blood. Then she handed Mira back her knife, using that hand to pull at the poison. The process of pulling out enough of it to make him safe to move took enough time for Aria to finish feeding the demon in her weapon, sheathe it, and come watch the last half-minute or so of the process.

Nora pushed the tiny blob of extracted poison a few feet away before letting go, and exhaled a small sigh of relief as it fell into the grass. Then she mended the small wound and slowly stood up, her eyes still shut but her body seeming perfectly calm otherwise. "His body has already processed..some of it, so he's still..unconscious for now," she reported. "But there should be no...permanent damage."
Mira nodded. "At the very least, I think it oughta be safe enough to move him. Lupa, you know how to carry a body without hurting 'em?"
"Uhhm."
"Here, I'll show you," the witch said cheerfully, kneeling to carefully lift the avian up out of the grass. His hair was around shoulder-length, and the same brilliant red color as his feathers. He looked to be a young man in overall good shape—not that that meant he was one, given avian life spans—and he was dressed in some bright cream-colored pants and a vest with a bright purple, sparkly trim.

"You holdin' up okay?" Aria said, waving a hand in front of Nora's face. "Your eyes are still closed."
"I can...'sense' more than well enough to get around," she said. "And...I think I'll be fine...as long as I don't have to see them again."
"Okay. Well, hey, you need a seeing-eye dog, though, I think we've got one." Although she wasn't certain Nora could see it, she was gesturing vaguely toward Lupa.
"Heheh...thanks."

---

"Soo um, do you have anywhere you like to go to eat?" Rose asked, a short way past the door into town. "Or—is it rude to assume you don't usually care much about what you eat as long as you stop feeling hungry?"

The fox-girl shrugged. "It would be a fair assumption. However, I recognized that I had an unhealthy tendency to treat food as a mere obligation some time ago, and deliberately cultivated a taste for bitter foods since those tend to be healthier. I tend to cook for myself these days, but occasionally I will pay someone to bring me something from a restaurant. I've never asked which one they get it from, however."
"I guess you usually can't leave for long, when you've got potions and stuff going?"

"That, and...I rarely venture far from my home in the first place, so I won't get lost," Vae said, following Rose. "I lived for far too long within the confines of a single magic college, and I fear my sense of direction is permanently locked to navigating those particular halls."

"Well, then—any place with a good selection of veggies, I guess?"
Vae nodded. "That would be more than acceptable. Is it fair to assume you prefer meat?"

"Yyyep. Dragons are mostly carnivores. I mean I like sweets too, but that's not like a meal. Oh! Uhhm." Rose realized something, the talk of navigation clicking a particular concept back to the front of her head. "We need to make a little detour, if that's okay? I almost forgot to take care of a thing. And there should be some good places near it!"

"Very well."

Rose quickly led the way to the tree she'd planted the day before, hurrying up to it and kneeling in front of it to check on it. "Aa~h, you're doing just fine~," she half-sang, pushing some of her magic to help it grow for the day. Her concentration was so focused on this task that she didn't notice someone sitting in a newly-placed bench a short ways from the tree getting up and walking over.

In short, Randall's greeting startled her. "Heyy, flower girl."
"Bwah!" Rose stood up and looked around briefly before leaning to one side to see him still standing behind the tree. "Oh, hi!"

The Felis man hiccuped and sidestepped into full view, leaning forward a bit. "Who's this foxy beaut with ya, eh?"

"This is Vaedin! She's aa, um—works with plants and stuff."
"Herbalist," the Vulpin said.

"Aand, this is Randall. He's aaan, earth mage or something?"

"Pfft, I'm far better'n 'something'," he said, stumbling a step or so toward them. "I'm—hic—the best there is." He spread out his hands briefly to accompany this announcement.

"You appear to be intoxicated," Vaedin said bluntly.

"Sharp, too! Heheh..I'm always intossif..inksoti..drunk. I do my best work this way!"

The fox-girl's ears twitched slightly. "I've known colleagues to make similar claims. Those who weren't fired died an early death."
"Aah, well, you don' need to worry about that with me," he said. "I'm old an' unemployed! Heheheh!"

"Weeell uh, we've gotta go eat now," Rose said. "You have fun sitting on a bench or drinking or..whatever."
"Aww, alright. You two have fun too, now." He waved and turned around to stumble back toward the bench. Rose waved for Vae to follow her and headed out of the partly-built park, onto the adjacent street that smelled the most like food.

Once they were probably out of earshot, Vae said, "He did not appear to be very old. He especially did not resemble a well-aged drunkard."
"Um, do you know how Ezra is like, mysteriously immortal and stuff?"
She nodded. "I have heard of that before, although it hasn't come up in my few conversations with her."

"Well, he's the same way kinda. They, like, knew each other way back or something."

She stopped next to a place that had its menu posted in the window, leaning a bit closer to read it. "Uh, hey, what do you think of this place? It definitely smells pretty good."
Vae walked closer, adjusting her glasses. "I can see some options I would enjoy. And, I admit my hunger has gotten worse since we left the forest. The scent of food all around only exacerbates the problem."

"Exassa-...what?"

"Makes it worse."
"Oh! Let's go in, then!" she said, quickly but carefully looping her index finger and thumb around Vae's wrist and trying to lead her inside by it. Thankfully, this gesture didn't get rejected, and the fox-girl followed along with her eager gait, perhaps expressing some impatience to get inside in her own way.

---

Around midday, the prince called a halt to the caravan, and with some fairly well-practiced movements, he and the soldiers brought the carts into a similar formation the adventurers had first found it in. Everyone convened toward the center, two of the soldiers carrying some crates of dry rations and water with them. "Not exactly a sumptuous feast, but lunch is served," Peregrine announced.

Everyone spread out, finding seating either on the ground or on the side of the carts for their meals. "I certainly understand the need for haste with this meal," Katherine remarked, "but I think we have the ingredients for me to make something a bit better tonight."
"Ah, you cook?" the prince said, following her to her seat on the edge of one cart and sitting next to her (but at a polite distance).
"Indeed," she nodded. "A master chef needs to juggle several tasks at once, and I can do that better than most."

Rayna followed after them, and Peregrine turned toward her, seeming to instinctively sense that she had something to say. "Your highness," she said once she had his attention, "I've kept us more or less undetectable since the goblins, but I really can't keep that up. Wide-range invisibility for a long period of time is not my specialty, and at this rate I'm concerned I might burn myself out. Anyway, I'd have to drop it to sleep."

"Understood," he nodded. "We will just need to be more vigilant from here on out. I'm certain we are all grateful for the reprieve you've given us so far. Take as long as you need to rest, as well."
"Thanks," she said, giving a brief curtsy before heading off to join Lynn near the center.

The prince ate in silence for a moment. Eventually he thought a direction 'loudly', and Katherine followed it to see Zack sitting alone, about as far away from them as he could. I seem to have offended Lady Zack somehow, the thought continued.

Maybe not, the psion tried to reassure him. That's just how she is with people she doesn't know.

He nodded. You know, I've always prided myself on quickly discerning what others value in themselves. But it's not so easy to tell with her. I only know that it isn't her beauty, as undeniably stunning as it is. Rather, I have the impression that she sees it as a curse.

Having a mind that worked unusually quickly allowed Katherine to keep herself from reacting to the word in any noticeable way. Instead she just said: You're not wrong about that. She's had some..bad experiences, let's say.

Sorry to hear that...so to speak. I thought it might instead be her strength or courage, but I didn't see much of a response to my attempts to compliment those traits.

Look, if there's one thing I know about Zack, it's that she doesn't like wasted words, Katherine said. She's likely to see most compliments as...empty flattery at best, or mocking her at worst. She'll probably be much more receptive to conversation that isn't about her.

I'll keep that in mind, he thought. Thank you.

Katherine nodded. If she could keep him from 'annoying' Zack—or whatever it was that had made him start growling earlier—again, that would hopefully be good for both of them.

You're thinking about something, Rayna discerned from a brief glance at her friend's face.

Lynn nodded. Ezra has an inventory, like ours.

That seems to be the gist of what his highness said earlier, she said, nodding.

Ezra is mysteriously immortal, and Clera essentially found no signs of age on any of us—even you or Zack, who probably should at least have some given your species and age.

Go on..

Ezra's supposed to be serving this world's gods. She literally received a dream-warning from them about that fire giant. Our best hypothesis for who brought us here, is also said gods.

...So what's your point?

Lynn gave her the slightly frustrated look of a professor who just gave his student several increasingly-obvious hints toward an already-easy answer. Cut me a break, my brain's fried from keeping up a wide-range illusion for hours on end.

It's not completely outside the range of coincidence, or the existence of some other, similar explanation, but: What if Ezra is a 'player', like us?

...I dunno. She doesn't act like someone from Earth.

Does Rose act like someone from Earth, most of the time? Do you?

Rayna shrugged. Yeeeah, I guess there isn't that much obvious difference. But then—if she is, then Tsaron and Randall..

..And the rest of their group, including that guy who made Mira's scythe and killed some of them, are players too, Lynn nodded. I hoped you might come to the same conclusion.

Well—they could just be people from this world, commissioned by the gods to do...something, Rayna thought. If 'inventory magic' comes from the gods in the first place, there's no requirement that someone be from another world to get it, and obviously they're powerful enough to make someone immortal if they want them to be.

Right, as I said: A similar explanation works, Lynn thought back. But what bugs me is that Tsaron already knows we're from Earth, and yet he was completely uninterested in that information. It seemed convincing to me at the time that he'd seen all sorts of things in other people's minds over the years, but I still think it's pretty far out for anyone in this world.

The illusionist nodded. From what I can tell, fiction here doesn't even have a concept of 'other worlds' the way ours does. Just, other versions of this world, more or less.

So why was that convincing in the first place? Lynn asked rhetorically. Why, with all of those other clues already in front of me, do I only think of this now? Well, there is an extremely powerful psion living in that town who might be able to subtly influence the thought processes of anyone reasonably nearby...at least, hypothetically.
The fox-girl tilted her head, taking on a slightly worried expression. You think...he was actively preventing us from even thinking of the possibility that they're from Earth?

Lynn shrugged. I'm just saying that, as far as I know, he could have done that. Brains are a tricky thing, so it's hard to really say whether he did or not.

Well—we can resolve to ask her here and now, then, Rayna thought. It's harder to be subtle about erasing an entire conversation we've had, right? Especially since it's in Kath's mind now, too. The psion mentally nodded to confirm this was the case.

---

Randall splayed back onto the bench after watching Rose and her new friend leave. "Bah, 'have fun drinking'...as if I've got anything better to do..."

"I doubt she intended that as unpleasantly as it came out." A level, calm, pleasant voice. He sat up and turned his head just enough to see its source: An old Vulpin man, unusually fit, wearing some sort of overly-revealing ceremonial robes. His expression was as annoyingly peaceful as his speech. Most likely...

"Wha' you want, priest? Here to get me off drink?"
"Oh, not at all; I've heard you do your best work inebriated. You don't mind if I take a seat, do you?"
The Felis shrugged. "It's a public bench."

The old fox sat down slowly and carefully, breathing out a happy sigh of relief to be off of his feet. Something about it all felt performative, however; Randall could just about sense a still-quite-capable fighter in there. "Since I believe I have you as a disadvantage: Fazren," he said. "And you're Randall, aren't you?"
"Yep."

"I am something of a parental figure to Nora, so I've taken an interest in her new friends. I believe you may have a different sort of interest in them, hmn?"
The Felis gave the old Vulpin a sidelong glance: Was that what this was about? He didn't recall saying anything particularly rumor-starting regarding them since coming into town. "I assure you my intentions are entirely—hic—honorable. No' like any ovvem have an 'int'rest' in me, anyway."

"Well, I can't give you my first suggestion to remedy that without making myself a liar," Fazren said, and chuckled.

He changed the subject slightly: "It seems as if you must know Lady Ezra quite well?"
"Hmmnh. How well would you say you know someone you hadn't met since hundreds a' years ago? Though, I guess none'o'us've really changed such mince then..hic."

"It seems strange to me that I hadn't heard of her before coming here, for all the reputation she has. But then, I also hadn't heard of you before, either."

"Well, I try to keep a low profile, is all. People hear 'bout an immortal cat and think I made some sorta pact with a demon...which isn't even a thing in the first place."

"I would suggest they don't think that of Lady Ezra because of her many heroic deeds...and because she isn't drunk all the time."
"Baah, people thinkin' I work for the gods woul'be just as bad for me," Randall replied.

He sat up slowly, staring at the tree in front of them. "Pray you don' get 'blessed' the way I am, Fazren. The world gets boring after long enough. An' after feeling pain, mourning, rage, heartbreak and fear for my life all for m'self..still nothin' beats out this kind of boredom. Livin' just so I don't have to die." He didn't add 'again', figuring Fazren wouldn't get that part.

"..Sorry," he said after a long pause, leaning back again. "Must be soberin' up too much, to make that kind of talk."
"It's quite alright. Believe it or not, an old priest gets pretty used to hearing people vent," Fazren said. "If you'll excuse a younger man's opinion, though, there is more to life than being entertained. One who has found a purpose and pursues it rarely has the time to get bored."
"Hmmh. Maybe tha's the difference between me and Ezra, then."
"Perhaps your interest in those young ladies isn't so ill-placed after all," the old Vulpin said, still smiling calmly. "I'd bet any one of them would whip you into shape."

He stood up again, stretching. "Aahh. Well, this has been a fine chat. But I should be going now."
"You have fun with your 'purpose', then," Randall replied. "And don' think I don't mean well by that."
"Of course. Farewell.

---

Lupa's keen, instinctive sense of direction proved sufficient to guide them back out of the forest, even bringing them fairly close to where they had entered it. Mira handed the unconscious spider victim to her about midway through the trip, trusting the wolf-girl's freakish strength would have her arms tire of carrying him far less quickly. As they came into the unobscured midday sunlight, Nora finally opened her eyes and looked around, breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank you for...protecting me before, Lupa," she said. "I shouldn't have...frozen up like that."
"Nora okay!" she said happily. "This one is really scared of something, too."
Aria gently clapped her on the back. "Hey, you pulled through when we needed a healer, at least."
"Mmh."

"Hey.." Mira pointed at a stream of white light headed skyward, and the others turned in time to see it gather into an explosion of light far up in the air, lasting several seconds before it faded. "Is it just me, or does that look like some kinda distress signal?"

"That seems extremely likely," Nora agreed. "We should..help."
"Okay!" The witch got out her broom and waved the weaver over. "The two of us'll fly there quick, and you two follow after." They got on the broom together. "Been a while since I ferried anyone, but we'll be fine. Just hold on tight!"

"..Right." Nora pulled her arms around the witch's waist, and they lifted off.