Battle Vixens! - 81

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Episode 81: Dinner With a Monster

Finally, Beryl took a long, deep breath through her nose, and picked her head up off of her shoulder. "Awwh, Emma...you're far too kind. There are...some things I wish to say to you, if you'll allow it. Other than apologizing again." She slowly put the two-tailed foxgirl down in front of her, far enough away to look down into her face with a marginally less despondent smile.

"Um...sure?" Out of the veritable whirlwind of emotions Emma had been put through over the past few minutes, the one that stuck most strongly was still confusion.
"Maybe, we could sit down...?" Beryl moved slowly around her toward the couch, just—walking. Whether the "teleporting" she was reported to always do was actually something she could only do in people's dreams, or was somehow exclusive to body she used there, was hard to say. Maybe she just felt like walking. Emma followed her, sitting on the complete opposite side; some of her uncertainty about the Giver's motives had returned, edging her toward caution. If the tall, blonde woman minded the distance between them, it didn't show on her face.

"I knew...fairly well in advance that your world would come under attack," she began calmly. The 'game' with all the vixens is not the only thing I've done to help. A few years ago, I set out to establish several identities for myself in this world, maneuvering each one into a position which would allow me to help coordinate your defense and push your general understanding of magic forward. No position of authority, but many in support to the kind of people I deemed best for those tasks. I thought, so long as I'm assuming a bunch of human identities on this world, maybe I could dedicate just one purely for some fun. And, I saw you."

"I thought...you were the weakest, most useless person ever. Because that tended to be what you thought of yourself, and I didn't really go looking for evidence to the contrary. 'Look at this poor, fragile child always berating herself for the tiniest of things', I thought. 'Look at this...clumsy, stupid fool. It'll be fun to help her out, maybe turn her into someone amazing.' So I made a smaller game for myself within the big one, where I'd just live with you for a while and, once things really got started, see if you ever figured out who I really was.

"Whenever you wanted to know something about me, I fished for guesses from you until you ran upon the sort of person you seemed to hope I would be—or what you found most believable, if that didn't really apply—and then fell silent so you'd assume you were correct, taking on those traits for this role. I really took this body out to soup kitchens and churches and all manner of other charity events, cooking for more needy people than you can count, just so that I could truthfully say I was doing it as a statement and cement this identity in your mind for real. But...as I actually got to know you, I found out that I was wrong. You, were wrong," she lifted an index finger off of the couch to point for a second.

After dropping the hand, the Giver paused for a long moment, quietly watching her. Emma didn't even realize at first that she was giving an extremely skeptical look back, but when she finally did, it wasn't surprising.

"...You aren't fragile, Emma. A fragile thing breaks once and can never be repaired. You've fallen apart and put yourself back together so many times that you're an expert at it, that you can even help other people do the same.
"You aren't weak. You take one night to get over the kind of trauma that emotionally cripples people for their entire lives, and then go back to being your usual cute, cheerful self again. Not that there aren't scars, but...before long, you hardly even notice them over the ones that were already there.

"You aren't stupid, not by a long shot. I chose a 'learning' power for you—something like mine in a completely different way from Amp—because, by then, I knew that your mind would make some of the best use out of it. It gave you access to two brains, sure, but doubling processing power doesn't matter if the program is no good. You've surprised me and everyone else time and again with the kinds of things you can notice and put together, and how quickly you do so.

"...I admit you are a little clumsy, in your human form, but you're pretty darn good at anticipating things that'd trip you up and being extra careful around them. Do you even realize?—it's been years since you last stumbled without catching yourself right away."

After another long, intervening pause, Emma finally scraped together some words to say in response. "...You really...mean, all of that."

"I must: I can say it in firm, declarative statements. I think maybe you were already beginning to believe some of it before I said it, too. You've been feeling more confident in yourself lately, and I couldn't be happier for you."

Beryl paused again, looking away—toward the wall Emma had thrown everything into, which was mysteriously lacking in damage—and looking depressed again. "Oh, Emma...even if you live for thousands of years, to me it won't be more than a brief gust of wind blowing through the room. A candle that burns out in a day or two, at best. But I still..want to see you shine your brightest, while you can. I legitimately hope your world survives. I can't...derail my plans to ensure that it does so, even if I know that they will cause you more pain. So I'm stuck in all the games I've made, and I can't really defy their rules.

"...You 'won' by working out my identity, without any real hints at all. I'm very proud of you. I..gave Light a big one, and confirmed it for her during our talk Wednesday. She told Amp, and they didn't know how to tell you the truth. They were already worried I would retaliate if they did, and then I convinced them it was for the best that they didn't. I hope you aren't angry with them."
"...You're really good at convincing people to do things," Emma said.

"Hmmh," she nodded. "Anyway...I have to give you your prize and then leave. I can't be 'Beryl' again, after this. I have to play fair, and talk to you where I do everyone else. As far as being in this body and getting to be near you, and cook for you goes...this has to be goodbye. I can't imagine that you want me around anyway. So...I need to make sure I say and do everything I want to, before then."

It took Emma longer than it should have to realize that she was crying again. She wiped her eyes on a sleeve. No, even after all of this—there was no taking back everything that the Giver had done. She really didn't want to go on living with someone like that, in a body she'd used to decieve her from the very first day they had met. It would be emotionally impossible for her to act like everything was normal, or to even relax at all while living with this person. But even though she agreed completely, it still made her miserable to think about it.

"...There's something unique about your power that you probably haven't realized yet. Oh, Amory told you part of it—he knows that whenever you learn something now, your power comes back a bit. But in truth, that isn't something you've spent returning at all. When you learn something—anything—new, you actually gain a tiny bit of new power, permanently. For you, knowledge is literally power. It matters not what sort of thing you learn, whether it is about your powers or someone else's, or how someone else feels, or some new bit of science or mathematics—anything will do. You can learn in human or in fox form, it makes no difference. It's far too gradual to perceive much of anything from a single event, but it will build up over time, as it already has been. Or...have you not noticed, that you are markedly stronger than when you first began?"

"N-not really..." But, thinking about it, it was hard to imagine doing things as powerful as she had the day before—during that fight alongside Ning, when she was neither "boosted" nor "desperate"—back when she was fighting Light. Sure, some of it had taken a lot out of her, but back then she wouldn't have expected to be able to do some of those things at all—even if she had known the relevant powers then.

Beryl just slowly nodded, seemingly in reply to these thoughts.

"...You've got a taste of what it's like to be able to concentrate on two things at once. Did you know you can do that even if you've recombined into one body, as you are now? Anyway...in the same way, I can think about hundreds of different things simultaneously," she said; it didn't sound like she was boasting at all, just stating this fact as a preamble to whatever was coming next. "While I've been talking, I've also been trying to think of a good prize, since I never specified what that would be in the original 'rules'. As much as I'd like to instantly push your powers to their highest potential, I actually can't—since they grow on their own, as I just explained. That is: It would be actively harmful to your potential to do so, and I cannot do anything that directly harms another, even just their magic. I suppose I've accidentally blocked myself from even helping you slightly bend the rules of that game. So, instead...

" You don't...like your body. I mean—your human form. At least, it's not what you'd consider 'ideal'."
"..Not really, no."
She shook her head slightly. "A shame your vixen forms are closely modeled after it, then—but you have the hero now to fix that whenever you like."
'The hero'? Oh...Light, she realized after a second.

"I've got a spell which would enchant your body—just the human one—for about a week," she continued after just enough space for Emma to think that. "If you focus hard on some change you want to your physical form, which lies within the bounds of what normal humans of your world can look like, the enchantment will then gently 'push' your form to make those changes. The shift will always be gradual, anywhere from a few minutes for something extremely minor to an entire day to complete a major alteration. A week should be plenty of time to go back and forth between a few different looks and decide what you really like best.

"Would you...like that?"

"I—" She interrupted herself sharply, hesitating. "...Um..."

"..You're worried that if you say 'yes' you'll miss out on something better, maybe in the sense of being less 'selfish' for you. And you're worried that saying so would amount to being greedy and insult me somehow. With how I normally am, I understand—it's hard to believe I wouldn't be willing to make an offer and yank it right back again if I don't like how you respond to it. But I won't do that; I just want to give you something nice. Believe me, if I had thought of something else appropriate that you could possibly like better, I would list it as an option. However, I also don't want to spend the energy or force the spell on you if you won't even like it; that wouldn't be a very good gift at all."

Emma needed a moment to process that torrent of words. This was...admittedly a bit like the version of this person Light and everyone else seemed to encounter, except that she was employing it to encourage Emma to take something she would've really wanted under most circumstances.

"...Hey, it's good to be selfish sometimes," she said, faintly smiling. "A more confident Emma can do more for the people around her, and if a few changes to something as malleable and shallow as your appearance can help you feel that way, then I'd think it's worth it."

"...I admit I would like it," she said slowly, "and..it's hard for me to think of something I'd want more right now. If it's not..making me, or one of the others stronger, or just..putting up a big shield so those things can't get to us anymore."

"Mmh..." She nodded. "It's so easy in concept, but the price of blocking off the enemy's entryway to even a single world is too much for me to afford. I must consider the wider scope of the problem. If you could shield your world that way indefinitely at the price of...other people you don't know and may never meet, but in numbers too large for you to properly conceive of, suffering the same fate and far worse...I don't think you would even ask for it."

Speaking of selfish wishes. "No, I...can't imagine anyone would want that, ever," she said.
"You'd be surprised.

"...As for making anyone else stronger, well..your friends have been growing in power, and will continue to do so, in their own ways. I've occasionally spurred it on directly, but that usually isn't necessary. Again, I'm being careful with how I spend my resources; if I can cause someone to grow on their own and it's cheaper, then most of the time I practically have to."

Emma had never even thought of things this way before at all. Probably no one else had, either. Yes, the Giver was creating and actively enjoying a blood sport on their world, but she was also engaged in protecting or helping to protect who-knew-how-many other worlds and all the people who lived on them. Even her immense, untouchable-seeming level of power had a limit, and by the sounds of it, that limit was being stretched thin. She probably made sacrifices constantly in one place or another; she probably always had to think very hard about how to spend every single drop. She had downplayed this significantly when she spoke to Light, clearly on purpose, but the way she had talked about being on a treadmill, and "right where you are is the best you can do"...it was clear this affected her, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

"So, I'll cast that spell before I leave. There are a few, smaller gifts I want to give you first...not, necessarily as some kind of official prize, just...because I wish to give them. Like: I made sure our entire conversation went unheard. Neither the wall, nor anything else, was broken," she said, waving vaguely toward the undamaged wall across from them. "And, I think I'll pay both our rents through summer. Some of my other identities on this world are paid unreasonably well, so it's less than nothing. Perhaps next year, you can be someone else's cool, older roommate, and eventually part on better terms than this. I'll leave you all my cookbooks, too; I'm confident you can learn to make every recipe in them without much difficulty. Speaking of that, though...

"I wonder...if you'd allow me to make supper after all, one last time."

"I...yeah, that'd be...wait." Emma thought of something else. "You can...poison people. Putting the wrong ingredient into a meal, or just preparing some things wrong, isn't 'direct violent action' toward anyone. If they're allergic to something, it doesn't even have to really be poison. The victim themselves chooses to eat it."
"I have thought of that before," Beryl said, nodding, "and I can think of no reason why it wouldn't work. But I have not once tested it—unless you consider spicy food poisonous. Truth be told, I've never cooked for, nor even served, anyone else before you, so I've never been in a position to try in the first place. And I will not try it now, either. If you need proof, I'll tell you what I made isn't poisonous after it's done, too."

"It's..th-that's okay," Emma said. "It's just something, I kinda realized aloud?"

Beryl nodded slowly, and then pushed herself up onto her feet. "Okay, I'd better get started. We'll have ourselves a feast tonight, and it'll be all cleaned up before I leave. You just sit back and wait!" For the first time since Emma had worked out the truth, she actually looked happy and confident, the way Beryl almost always had.

Emma stayed on the couch while she cooked. As the last of the sun's rays left and the only light coming into the living room was from the kitchen, she just tried her best to comprehend what she had just experienced, a task made significantly more difficult by that whole entire roller coaster of emotions still severely stunting her ability to think straight. It threatened to give her a headache; she couldn't even figure this out enough to put it into words right now. She needed someone to talk to about this, but it felt like a kind of betrayal to tell anyone.
Did Beryl really deserve not to be "betrayed" that way, though? Did she expect not to be? Even if she was acting on impulse, she had to know what Emma was going to want to do afterward. It would be terribly cruel to expect her to keep this bottled up and not talk to someone about it! No, no—she always thought several steps ahead, and if she wanted to, no matter how she felt, she could've just said "Yep" and vanished, leaving behind whatever prizes she liked, and in so doing perfectly maintained her previous, untouchable image. She chose to stay, and to say all of that, knowing full well that Emma couldn't not talk to, at least Amory about it. And he would tell Light, if she didn't; that she had found out the truth about Beryl was something both of them would want to know, and knowing it would raise obvious, natural follow-up questions. There wasn't really a way around it.

She leaned out from the kitchen, waving. "Emma~. Dinner's served!"

"Oh, um..." Standing up, the two-tailed fox-girl made her way around and into the kitchen, sitting down across from Beryl to eat. It was bizarre to be repeating such an ordinary ritual under such exceptional circumstances, but it was also comforting, in its own way.

The food was delicious, and not even particularly spicy. "I know it's unfair of me to read your mind for your worries, but—I just can't help it," she said once Emma started eating. "Tell whoever you like whatever you want. I don't care anymore. Hey, while you're at it, tell Light I like her!"

"Hhck!" Some food got caught in Emma's throat; she managed to cough and swallow, gasped for air a little bit and hoarsely said "Wh-ha-at?" before taking a long sip of water.

Beryl was still smiling, not seeming particularly worried about Emma almost choking. It seemed like it didn't matter to her since she hadn't actually choked, and—maybe—she had timed the announcement intentionally to ensure it was "almost". This was, after all, far from the first time she'd said something while Emma was eating that had this sort of effect. "You heard me. I think she's great. Do you know, that in all of the time that anyone has known I exist, I haven't been made fun of once before now? People are so afraid, because they know I'll see it and they think I'll retaliate or something. It's ridiculous!"

Recovering enough to clear her throat, Emma then said, "I really don't think you should be surprised if people are scared of you."
"Perhaps not. But I think you aren't, now? Or if you are, you're pretty good at hiding it. No one's ever screamed at me to shut up before," she said, smiling. "Even though plenty of people I've talked to have badly wished that I would, they never chose to say so.

"...Light certainly isn't frightened. Not a bit. Instead, right now, she hates me sooo much, that just thinking about things I've said to her makes her angry. It's adorable!"
If Emma was ever over being confused in the first place, this just kept it coming. How was hatred cute? Had she presented herself to Light in the worst possible light, on purpose, to provoke that?

"I know, I have strange tastes," she said, responding to her general confusion but not the specific thoughts.

Beryl leaned forward over the table a bit. "The little hero defines herself partially in contrast to me. I'm certain her power will break ties with me, and be entirely her own, before anyone else's. Oh, it's exciting to watch her grow and fight." She sat upright again, then leaned back in her chair some. "I suspect I'll miss that the most once this world is safe and I must leave it behind. Most worlds that have a shot at surviving only need pushes here and there—some little, some big—to have the best chances of defending themselves. But since yours began with nothing, there's just so much ground to cover, so fast, and you're all covering it better than I could've hoped for. Is it wrong to feel proud of you all? My personal influence is really a relatively small contribution to all that growth."

She took a moment to actually start eating herself instead of continuing to gush. Emma took advantage of that time to think, and began to have an idea. The Giver had made it clear she couldn't—or wouldn't—make anyone stronger. But...wasn't there one thing she could do without spending any more of her resources?

"Hey, um..how good are you at predicting what'll happen? I mean, when the monsters will attack or not...?"

"Pretty good. I do have a lot of experience watching its behavior. Timing is the most difficult thing to work out, beyond telling whether or not it intends to strike on a given day, and how many times."
"What about where it's gonna hit?" she said, taking up Beryl's singular-pronoun treatment of the existential threat to Earth. "Or, what kind of, things it's gonna hit with?"
"Hmm.

"Well, that's very hard to work out at first. It acts more or less randomly for its first few attacks, probing for where the most magic, or the most potential for magic, is. Over time, it because better at sensing where magic is most concentrated and targets those places the most often. And it gravitates toward appearances that perform well in three equally important metrics: Closeness to creatures which the target world's mythology considers threatening; effectiveness at killing and eating powerful mages; and effectiveness at destruction in general. It's been trying to take your world for two full weeks now, and so has begun to develop habits. Yes, I think I can get a pretty good read on where and what it thinks will work 'best' at this point."

Emma looked up into her face. "So.."
"Aah, I understand," she said, nodding. "If you're looking for an unselfish prize, information is a big one. Perhaps you're right, and your people could use as much of it as I'm able to provide. That's no gift or prize, I'd say, merely a logical extension of what I've already been doing. Maybe I've got a use for this body for a bit longer after all, even if it can't be around you."

Emma couldn't be entirely sure if she'd really contributed anything to this decision. Maybe Beryl had been planning it all along and wanted her to feel like she was coming up with the idea, or...maybe she really hadn't thought of doing this before. She didn't say one way or the other; optimistically, maybe it was just so obvious in hindsight that she'd almost be ashamed to admit she hadn't already thought of it.

They both ate quietly for a minute or two. Then: "Hey. That thing Simon suggested you do, the journal? You should totally do that. Now you know there's no one who'd blow your secret by just waltzing in to look over your shoulder at your computer screen, and your homework's all done, tomorrow would be a perfect day to start it."

"Mmphf." Emma chewed and swallowed. "I guess...I could at least try."

"That's the spirit! I guarantee you, it'd be a primary source cited by history books for as long as your present civilization survives. Oh, not that I think you ought to spend all day on that. Like I was trying to subtly hint before, a day off from fighting is a perfect time to ask No for a second date, riight?" 'No' being code for Amory, still.

"Um.." She just looked away, blushing—but it wasn't like she hadn't thought the same thing.

"Heheh, sorry, sorry. I hope my language doesn't give you the impression that you must do anything. I've never been in the habit of ordering people to do things, or forcing anything on anyone." This seemed to ring true; even the power she'd offered people, with its possibly horrible price, had been an "offered gift", which people could choose not to accept.
Beryl nodded. "There are people who have still never used the power I offered them. A few died during the enemy's first couple of strikes because they refused to take it, even when it would have saved their lives. It's a shame, but I respect the decision nonetheless." It was almost like...a rule she imposed on herself, similar to 'never lie'—except that this didn't sound limited to any one world.

Before they knew it, their plates were empty. Beryl sat smiling down at her for a long moment, before sighing. "All right. I feel I've kept you long enough, and I know I've said all I had hoped to, now. I know how you feel about my little game, so it was unreasonably kind of you to allow me to pretend, one last time. I'm very grateful for that." She stood up, and seemed to indicate that Emma should do the same—coming around in front of her.

The alien intelligence was crying again, just silent tears coming down her cheeks, but she seemed to have a genuine, almost peaceful smile on. "I wonder...if you'd indulge me with another hug, though?" Emma just picked herself up and put her arms around the thing she'd called her roommate, letting herself be picked up for a minute before being set down again. "...Thank you."

"No more stalling, now," she said, rubbing her hands together briefly. "You still want that spell?"

"...Yes."
"Okay. Hold still a sec." Beryl stretched her hands, and then placed the right one gently on top of Emma's head, saying...something. It was a little bit like the phrases everyone could use to change back and forth; it felt like she "recognized" it the way she did when Light used her own; but it wasn't quite as extreme a level of recognition as that. It sounded maybe two or three sentences long, somehow, even though it had a kind of indistinctness to it that made picking out individual words seem impossible. She didn't learn any part of it by hearing it, but she could still feel it. There seemed to be no visible effect, but it made some sort of warmth spread from the point of contact down across her body, after which the hand lifted off and dropped back to its owner's side.

"Despite everything...it has been fun, more than I could've imagined. I hope you enjoyed it some of the time, at least," she said. "I feel certain we'll talk again, but...goodbye, nonetheless. Oh, and try to keep the hero alive for me, please!" She smiled big, and then just..vanished, clothes and all.

Emma put out a hand slowly, into the space the Giver had occuped just a second ago. "Bye..." She could probably hear that, but of course it was just like her to not stick around long enough for it to be in person.

Emma looked around the kitchen for a few seconds, finding the silence temporarily crushing. She needed something else to think about or do, before she could even begin to process all of this. She slowly recited the phrase to change back to her human form, and picked her glasses off her nose, going to the sink to clean them up.

As she did, she thought: Well...it'd be nice to not need them at all anymore, wouldn't it...?

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This title isn't a song title (that I know of), but it seems like it'd actually be a good title for a metal song, or maybe something by Alice Cooper.

Anyway, as "cover images" go, I would imagine the previous episode being a picture from Emma's POV sitting on the couch, Beryl looking down at her with a friendly smile, except that her shadow cast against the wall behind her would have obvious fox ears and tails and maybe red glowing eyes in that way some "threatening" silhouettes do. This one would be the same basic idea, but with her sitting down at the table looking straight across, the smile a lot smaller, and the same "Giver shadow" would appear much less threatening somehow.